Thursday, December 17, 2009

Am I Crazy?

So I used to think I was a simple, fairly normal person. Apparently I have no clue what that means, and that ticks me off. Let me try to explain the problem at hand. This is how my brain works; I think about everything, all the time. Simple, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. To understand the problem we need to dig deeper. When I mean “everything, all the time” I mean that to the 10th degree, times 100, plus 1. Not quite like Rain Man brain issues, but definitely more than the average human being. What ticks me off about this is that I think my “problem” is actually a blessing that should be embraced. So let’s get into some details.

Here’s an example for you. Darn near every decision in life that is put forth in front of me has an answer. How I get to that answer is what differentiates me from others. There are usually multiple variables/choices/paths to consider, and those variables may have variables that will determine the correct answer. As soon as I’m faced with the task at hand my mind races through all those variables, the outcomes of each, the positive and negative consequences of choosing each, the reactions/responses of anyone that may be involved in the outcome, how to respond to their questions if they have them, how they may react to my response, so on and so on and so on. This all goes through my head in mere seconds and after thinking about it all I open my mouth to give an answer.

This type of methodology happens with just about everything in my life unless it’s something really simple, and even then I tend to over think things. I used to think this was a great trait and that most people would appreciate my ways. Thinking like this means I don’t say something stupid without thought process, I make well educated decisions, and I’m ready to explain everything in detail to anyone concerned. How is this bad? Why would someone not want me to think like this? I’m not 100% sure. I’ve thought about it in every way possible, but I’m still confused. My Grandpa tells me it’s a good thing, but I just need to tone it down a bit. Other people think I need to be on medication for this. A select few understand me completely and think it’s great that I can decipher life’s complications this way (I tend to agree), but most people have no clue what is going on in my melon.
Am I crazy???

1 comment:

  1. No you are not crazy. You are just you. Just worry about what affects you directly. Other things may not need such a deep decision. Use your gut, can never go wrong when you follow your gut.

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